More than the passage of time and aging is the evolving metamorphosis of
my thinking affecting my emotions. Even the thinking is strongly
influenced by empirical events than any timely serendipitous insight
(though serendipitous events, i.e., the yearling in
the brush at the Petersburg National Battlefield, have been
significant).
I see myself more in terms of attitude towards things, than the social
trappings associated with the roles and their expectations for my age.
Thus, it's been an emotional mind trip, in retrospect , than an
aggregation of sensory experiences. This gives me a
broader view than just the incidental, moment-to-moment tactical
navigation from a physical or rhetorical point "A" to point "B". I find
myself seeing patterns identifiable as memes from which I may take
insights, hints, and clues for a more strategic and
long term attitude with its behaviors, as a result of those hints and
clues.
I'm concluding that our emotions are wormholes-rabbit holes that are
conduits to levels of consciousness, plus also castes of social
mindsets. Those mindsets may be consensual and conformist to an
eclectic, iconoclastic, or loner types of attitudes. Whatever
attitude, it becomes a transactional, self-fulfilling course of events
for the holder of that mindset.
That mindset, is like a drug, but a hormonal one that is a catalyst for
not only the abstractions of thought, but the physiological state of its
holder. A compulsion to think and do a preferred set of options to what
a person emotionally feels on either a conscious
or SUBCONSCIOUS level becomes the driver of the mind of the person. Much
as the person who says they blacked out and don't remember what they
have done, this is the conscious version that can have the individual
questioning themselves, retrospectively, why
they were so compelled to do what they have done.
Time and age are irrelevant coincidentals to this state that can last
from the rare few hour to years and decades. Going into then later out
of the mindset becomes the significant factor in one's
self-identification of one's present state and capabilities.
In this way one's consciousness of their emotions as the conduit to
their mental and physical development, for the sake of their vitality
and long term health, becomes the gyroscope for their moment-to-moment
being.
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