Compulsive Mania Habits

Compulsive Mania Habits
-https://www.facebook.com/21Ninety/videos/1785240828448576/?t=98

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What drives us and vitalizes 
us is also that which can be an unintended snare for us.

As we seek to have then pursue ‘the passions of our soul’, we 
discover that line of our subjective utopianism and the objective 
feasibility. But to sustain and maintain the intensity of the vitality, 
we find that we must ‘walk the line’ between our subjective 
desires and the temporal limits of ethical, moral, and legal 
appropriateness.

What is perceived as the restrictive and circumscribing status quo 
for your aspirations becomes the foil for your mental dexterity 
and ingenuity as you seek that cognitive space of satisfaction which 
provides the vitalizing literal, deep-inhaling inspiration and intense 
and compulsive motivation.

You notice not only the rushing current of your stream of 
consciousness 
increase in a flood of compulsive thoughts, 
but you can feel your body’s physiology become intense at 
the equivalency of what would otherwise be your ‘fight-or-flight’ 
response.

In this moment, rationales become your logic-director as your 
body takes the lead for what you’ll be doing over any prospective 
practicalities of circumspective thought. You have reached your 
‘Mr. Hyde’ moment of mania..

This is where the nihilist urge to be for whatever may befall you in the 
aftermath of your continued compulsion is to express this exhibition 
of visceral energy to whatever would and will be its inevitable result. 
Your own self-ravishment.

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THE "KID" IN ME

THE "KID" IN ME

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In between the obligatory and the social there is that 
cognitive space where the non-directed or 
non-indoctrinated soul persona manifests itself.  When 
that persona first emerges initiates the distinction of 
the autonomous being from the context of its 
encompassing environment.

For me, I became acutely aware of that persona not 
associated with any familial or social roles, plus any  
physiologically compulsions, about my 13th year. At 
that time I saw the constraints of what I could be 
within the social rules and the ingrained obligational 
roles of the pecking order. I was in the no-man's land 
of what I temporally and socially was circumscribed 
to be and what my physiological urges were signaling 
for "me". What ever frustrations or resentments with 
the behavioral expectations created a stream of 
conscious rationalization for an alternative logic for 
my prospective actions.

Because I had given an oath to a beneficent phenomena 
at age 9 1/2,  the Id of my persona had a bias towards a 
certain outlook. Within what would become the 
boundaries of that outlook would develop the 'Kid' I 
recognized as that

identity I have of my orientation today. The 'Kid' is the 
'replay official' of

my identity. Whatever I dream, whatever I have as a 
retrospective: it is the Kid who provides the commentary. 
Even if I felt secularly or temporally, or

physiologically compelled to do something, ‘the Kid’s’ 
review is my adjudicator.

In 'It' is what I know as my honesty and most reliable 
integrity. Being such, no matter how far I stray on tangents 
or into rabbit holes of activity or interests, 'It', the Kid, is 
my reference for my accountability. As such, 'It' has been 
my ongoing consciousness and conscience through the 
times and the people of my existence.

Speaking of existence, I wonder whether

the personages of my dreams are the contemporized 
actors or even former personas of my past or the 
future?

By whatever dimensions 'my Kid' manifests itself, 
"It" is from where I know of my humanity as more 
than a function of the social condition or the 
physiological programmed response to those conditions.
 It is the transcendent variable of my consciousness 
which lifts me beyond the context of my present carnality 
to being a conduited incarnated energy
 

I have not aged as the social or temporal being of my 
demographic cohort. I've been this evolved agency of 
a presence with expanded tools- NOT baggage of affects 
acquired like a tourist returning from a long trip.

My trip has been of the mind more than an indulgence 
of the body.  The 'trip of the mind’ has given me insight 
on how to honor the temple of mind-n-body . In that the 
body is the concierge for the mind's consciousness, as it 
is the efficient operational mechanism for the mind's, 
aka consciousness' existence.

------O/P’s Solicitation------

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